I don’t remember the last time I had a good morning last more than 10 minutes. I mean this quite literally.
I understand with being a stay at home mom and planning a wedding, getting a child ready for pre-school in the fall, helping family, planning birthday parties and so on, life is stressful. If that was all this was I’d be great, I could handle that - I was made to function as Mom.
Oh but it’s not, it never is.
I call Alex each morning, right after I give Paige breakfast and put on a pot of coffee. I’d say that takes all of 15 minutes, in that time my day has normally gone from "running smoothly" to "train wreck" and he doesn’t ever get a happy hello - no instead he gets aggravated, annoyed Amber who’s spending more time yelling at the dog to "quit it", whatever "it" may be today, and telling Paige repeatedly to "Shh! Mommies on the phone". Which by the way, the child doesn’t want to speak to me all day until that receiver is on my ear.
I’m pretty flexible, I have back up plans most of the time if something falls through. Sometimes I don’t, and I manage still. But I think more than having to change my plans what annoys me more is the fact that most of the time, people just don’t get how one ripple in your daily plan sets a tidal wave through the whole day and everything needs to moved, changed and rescheduled.
And it’s not just the "non-moms" who smile sweetly and wonder why your head is spinning uncontrollably as you call your dads, second cousins aunt to see if she can watch your kid in a pinch because you have a doctor appoint that cannot ( I REPEAT CAN NOT) be rescheduled, due to a timing crunch. And is certainly not something that you want your child at with you.....if you get what I mean.
It is very often the actual Moms, the "Veteran Moms" - the "I’ve - been - a - mom - so - long it - was - spelled - differently - back - then - Moms" who look at you and tell you, "It’s fine" or my favorite, when it comes from my mom - who was born having a panic attack...."Oh Calm down Amber, it’s not the end of the world"
OH SHUT UP!
You know why you say that, because you’ve blocked out the sheer and total chaotic moments of your past with VODKA! Sure, it all works out in the end - but you know why - do you...huh??? Because you spend 45 minutes running around trying to find a way to make it work as fast as humanly possible so that you don’t derail from schedule, sacrificing that shower you were so looking forward to and changing lunch from something at home to something on the road.
When a child is born you should be given a paper bag to breath in, a day planner that never goes out of date and a bottle of Ritalin - for you or the kids...you choose when needed.
Don’t get me wrong I have the greatest job in the world - but luckily my Chaos mode is always functioning otherwise I’d be a heap on the floor begging for mercy as I suddenly realize I got the dog a flu shot and had the kid fitted for a flea collar.
I shouldn’t joke about that.....one never knows....
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